Where Are You Meeting Your Employees Today?
Yesterday I went running as I usually do twice a week and as I was pushing myself through that final kilometre, likely looking like a hot, sweaty mess, it struck me how much exercise is like mental health. The only people who really have an idea how much work I might have put into my run are the people who saw me at the beginning and end (I see those curtain twitchers 😂)!
Some people, I saw on the journey, maybe even managed to heave a good morning to as I kept myself going but they didn’t know how far I’d been or how far I had left to go, they just saw me at one point in time. The same for people who saw me at the end.
It got me thinking how when we manage others, they land with us at one point in time – when they first arrive, when their line management moves to us or even as a stakeholder relationship. In all these scenarios, we haven’t necessarily seen what came before, either on a given day or all the things that sit behind that person from their past week, month, year, decade and yet, 2 things:
1 – mental health and employee engagement, both being psychological in nature, naturally sit in a side by side relationship.
2 – managers are one of the biggest impacts on both employee engagement and our mental health – more on this below 👀
In 2024 Forbes released an article titled “Why Managers May Have A Bigger Mental Health Impact Than Your Therapist”. The Forbes piece reviewed research from The Workforce Institute that showed “Managers have as much of an impact on people’s mental health as their spouse (both 69%) – and even more of an impact than their doctor (51%) or therapist (41%).” Let that sink in for a moment – the line manager relationship with mental health is equivalent to that of a romantic partner!
As managers, we can really use this to our advantage through the interactions we have with direct reports, especially those 1:1 scenarios. In coaching, we talk about giving the client unconditional positive regard, which in normal speak means accepting the person and not judging the behaviour or performance. It also encompasses how we show up for the other person, how we communicate with full investment into that time (no checking of those chat messages incoming!), and respect for what they bring to the table.
Don’t get me wrong, managers are the ones there to have both the positive and tough discussions – essentially making sure the team members perform in a way that achieves the company goals, but we can still borrow and integrate aspects of the “how” from unconditional positive regard. In turn, these can particularly drive psychological safety, trust and optimism – 3 major feelings that strongly contribute to creating employee engagement.
So how can we as line managers build a space where we give a version of unconditional positive regard? Well really, it starts with you and your mindset 🧠 how you arrive and show up to the meeting matters:
- 👂Give space – listen, bring open questions to hear and fully understand what the employee is experiencing
- 🫶Don’t ignore the feelings – an employee telling you they feel stressed or failing in some way or even delighted deserves those feelings acknowledged before jumping into the solutions or “what next”
- 🎉Celebrate effort alongside wins – effort and wins don’t always correlate, I’m sure many of us have been there! Effort is a key output of engagement, leaving it unnoticed could lead to feelings of pointlessness, cynicism or even self-doubt
- 🧩Don’t compare! We are all different, each bringing their unique skills and talents to solve the wider puzzle
I have a lovely memory of a manager who responded to me in this way – she always came prepared to our catch ups, asked me for my perspective, genuinely wanted to know how things were going. I remember her reading a new policy I’d written following an employment law update and her comment that I probably needed a “vat of wine after trawling through all that”. The most important thing though is I felt safe to try new and more challenging things and positive about the work I produced. I felt valued.
So, coming back to my starting point – where are you meeting your direct reports on their run through life today? And with that in mind, what else could you be doing to build unconditional positive regard with your team members during 1:1s?
Anything above resonate?